My son said to me the other day, "We never have anything to eat!" Now mind you, the cabinets are full, the fridge is usually full, the freezer is full, there is snack food and real food, and one of my biggest concerns in life is making sure there is always food in the house. I may have to forego mani-pedis, car washes, new clothes, etc., but there will always be food for my child in the house. There just wasn't the food that he wanted. Of course, when I ask him what he would like for me to purchase at the store, recognizing that he wants to pick some things himself, he tells me he doesn't know or doesn't care. Grrr . . . .
What really irritates me though, when he says there is nothing to eat, or if he complains that we don't have money to do things, or whatever, is that I feel extremely guilty. We all want to provide our kids with everything they want and need. It doesn't always work out, but he has a roof over his head, food in his belly, clothes on his back, etc. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do.
I make really good money, and as you know, until recently was supporting a family of three. One of the three, ESD, wracked up a lot of bills for me to pay. The electric bill, the gas bill, the cable bill, the phone bill, the food bill, the gasoline bill . . . everything was higher when he was in the house and I struggled for years to make ends meet. As I made more and more money, I started chipping away, but it was a never ending struggle. Now that he's gone, things are getting better and I'm digging out of the hole, but it still irritates that hell out of me when my kid is unappreciative. You see, ESD would always complain that we didn't have enough. I felt like I was failing at supporting my family, yet he never contributed a dime. So, when his son says the same thing, I see red.
I have to admit, I snapped a little bit. Because last time he said something like that my feelings were so hurt, I cried for two days. This time, no damn way. We discussed it again today to clarify that he has got to tell me what he wants so that I can budget appropriately and so I know what to buy at the store. I think we got this one now. We'll see.
I was worried that I'm the only one who goes through things like this, but my new friend Menopausal Mother wrote a great blog about the same type of issue the other day. MM is usually funny and upbeat, but every once in awhile, she slips one of those heart wrenching posts in. This was one of those. It hurts when our kids are mean and ungrateful to us, but we'll always love them no matter what. And one day, it will be their turn and they will look back and appreciate all we have done for them. For a great read on the topic, check out Menopausal Mother. You'll love her as much as I do.
Until next time, much peace and love.