So, I let him do pretty much whatever he wants.. . Within reason and following my rules. He goes to parties, the mall, ball games, spends weekends with his friends, etc. When I have to go out of town, he often stays home alone, rather than going to his friend's house. It just depends on the situation. Again, he mostly stays out of trouble.
I do have rules though--no alcohol, no drugs, no sex. Of course, I know that may be unreasonable since he's a teenager, and let's face it--that's what teens do. I know I did and he's just like me. I admit, I'm a total hypocrite--I don't want him doing what I did. But, I know he will--it feels good, dammit. So, the first time he got busted was for smoking weed. I didn’t come down hard on him--I was glad he told me (he actually busted himself), but we talked about it. The second time he got busted was recently for drinking (again, he busted himself). He and a couple of his friends got drunk at my house when I wasn't home. He called me drunk and apologetic. Again, I didn't come down hard on him, but I lectured him and his friends, and told him that was his last do-over.
So, what happens? Friday, I let him go to a party. Sent him off with the usual, no drinking, no drugs, no sex. His friend's mom was taking them and picking them up. Works for me--I'm tired on Friday nights. I get a text from him around 10 to pick him up. Spelling is off . . . Oh oh. I run out to pick him up and just before I get there, I see a teen girl stumbling down the street, obviously messed up from alcohol or drugs or both. Oh shit. Then when I pull up, I see other teens leaving to go get in cars and drive away. Now, I'm really scared. I'm calling the boy and he isn't answering. I text him and he doesn't answer. I finally get through to him and he comes stumbling to the car. He literally cannot function. Now I'm scared and pissed.
He says he really only had one beer and one hit off a blunt. He thinks the blunt was laced with something. That could be or he could've had more than he said. Regardless. My 14 year old son is fucked up. I get him some food and get him home where he proceeds to tell me how much he loves me and he doesn't know why he did this. "You're a single parent and you bust your ass every day and don't deserve this." He has a point. But, he's wasted and I'm not trying to have a conversation with him at that point. He passed out on the bed in the living room (yes, I have a bed in the living room instead of a sofa--long story), and I had to get him on his side and make sure he didn't roll over on his back. I put a bucket next to him too, in case he had to barf. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night, because I kept getting up and checking on him.
Now, he's grounded and he's mad about it. He's not necessarily mad at me, because he knows he blew it. He's just mad in general, because he will not be able to go to friends' houses after school every day or go to parties (EVER) or the mall or anything. He's going to be very bored and he hates that. Having said that, I let him go to a friend's house for the Superbowl (parentally supervised) and do homework, too. But, it's a once thing, not an everyday thing. He and I will be spending a lot more time together. Hopefully, I'll be able to get him to understand and put into action better ideas and be more responsible. In the meantime, I call my momma and apologize for everything I ever did and beg her to lift the curse.
Addendum before posting . . . I suck at this punishment shit. I let him have his two friends stay over tonight. SMDH!
Until next time, much love and peace.