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Monday, January 13, 2014

Single at 47

I never thought I'd find myself single at 47.  I got into a relationship at 21 and stuck it out for 25 years.  At some point, I just thought that was what you do.  None of my friends were in happy relationships, so I didn't think it was possible.  That was how it was supposed to be and all the fairy tales got it wrong.  Yes, we split about 7 years ago, but I relented and let him back.  I had dipped my toe in the water and  was a little scared of what I saw.  So, for another few years, I tried to make it work.  BTW--it takes two to make it work and really, I don't think either of us was trying very hard.

So, I got divorced and started dating.  After being active in the dating scene for about five months, I remembered why I stopped dating when I was 20.  I've never been into playing games and every man I've met so far, plays games.  The sad part is that they say they don't play games, they are up front and honest, and looking for a relationship.  When, in reality, they play games, they lie, and they just want to get laid.  Note--I have met a couple who are actually very nice men, but they are not really pursuing the relationship aspect, so they remain firmly in the friends category.  And that's fine too--we all need friends.

The funny part about the others is that if they were just honest--they want to get laid--they might just get it.  I'm not a prude and think casual sex is just fine; however, there is still an aspect of truth and honesty that is needed.  As for the rest, I don't need to be rescued or have you solve my problems.  Conversely, I'm not gonna rescue you or solve your problems either.  Start talking to me about how broke you are and I'm gone.  BTW ladies, that's code for him wanting you to pay for his shit.  Been there, done that, writing the blog about it. 

So, I've gone away from the online dating scene (oh yeah--that's where I met all but one of these guys) and for now, at least, am just working on me. If I meet someone when I'm out somewhere or I'm introduced to someone by a mutual friend, that's great.  I'm not in any great race to settle down, but I would like male companionship.  It's nice.  It's nice to snuggle and talk and go places together.  But, I'm ok on my own too.  I believe in the fairy tale and I want the fairy tale, and I'm not going to settle for some bullshit.

Until next time, much love and peace . . . .

4 comments:

  1. I've heard that the dating scene is pretty scary compared to what we are used to when we were in our twenties. I think you have the right idea though---take time for yourself and try to get involved in the things you love or never had time for when you were married. Might be fun to go back to school for a course subject you love, like writing or maybe an art class, etc. You never know who you might meet there!

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    1. Thank you, my friend. I'm definitely thinking of classes to take. I took some creative writing classes when the Boy was little and met a great group of gals. Unfortunately, life got in the way. I'm also venturing out to find a new church, so you never know. Thank you for your continuing support and for stopping by.

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  2. Suddenly alone too after 26 years. And somehow I'm am so comfortable with it. Will date guys I like. I'm not a prude either. Will see where life takes me - I'm in no hurry.

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    1. Wishing you well, LR. Take your time and enjoy yourself.

      Love your blog and thanks for stopping by.

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