New Goals-Taking it One Step at a Time

Back to the goals. I think I've got a plan going here.  In January, I set the goals and tweaked them as I went.   I learned quickly that I can't tackle everything at once.  I also learned that I was under more stress than I thought and was adding stress to myself.  So, I decided to focus on one goal at a time, a new one each month.  I figured by doing that, I'll make a habit of the goal I'm undertaking for the month and it will continue in the following months.

So, in January,  I seemed to have focused on reading and writing and perfecting those goals.  I made a goal to read a certain amount of books per month  (5 if you're wondering) and surpassed the goal.  I read 6.  Not a lot in the overall scheme of things, but I completed my goal and continued it into the next month (and I'm rocking the reading in February).  As for the writing, my goal was to write my blog posts on Sundays for the week--3 for each blog, since I don't actually blog on Sundays.  I've kept to that and I'm enjoying writing them.  I've only missed a couple of days and that was not until almost the end of February.  I'm pretty proud of that. I will say that I'm struggling on my shared blog and I'm running out of fodder, so to speak.  I may lower the number of posts I put on that one after I confer with my Sis.   If that's the case, I'll add more to this blog--I never run out of ideas for this one. So, the reading and writing goals have been established as habits.

In February, I was going to look into getting a new church.  For one reason or another, I haven't actually tackled that one yet. And, I felt that I needed to work on my food intake.  This has been a big problem toward the end of last year and early into this year.  I realized that I was stress eating (even though I didn’t realize it at the time).    This is huge because I was eating way too much and it was really starting to affect my health.  I used my quit smoking mindset to the eating and it's working.  That mindset, BTW, was just do it, focus on eating properly and don't get distracted.  I have cut out all the junk and am eating healthy and I'm ok with it.  I had a couple of days where I did have junk in the form of fast food, and I'm ok with that, too.  I'm actually enjoying the fresh fruits and veggies.  The only problem is the cost.  It is so much more expensive to eat healthy.  But, I'm sticking to it.

The next step is to tackle the exercise goal.  I plan to delve into this one in March.  It is probably the most challenging goal of them all.  It's difficult to get started, results are not instant, it hurts like a sonofabitch. . . Literally . . . And I don't really like it.  With the pain, I have to be careful what I do, but if I do it long enough, the results will make it be less painful.  It's a vicious cycle.  I'm already doing some walking, although I slacked in February, so I can start a little more than I would if I had been doing nothing.  I have to slowly build up on distance and speed for my walking, and start doing strength training for my arms again.  I have great faith that this will become a habit.

I'm not sure what the rest of the months of the year will bring, but I'm looking forward to making 12 new, healthy habits in 2014.  So far, the first 2 are great.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Ugh!

Just not feeling it today.  Issues with the kid.  Feeling like a complete parental failure.  Taking the rest of today off.

Until next time, much love and peace.

New Dating Rules

I'm on a self imposed dating hiatus.  I've written about some of the crap that I've dealt with and the games that guys play, so I decided focusing on me is more important than dating.  While I'm no opposed to going out with someone now if I happened to meet anyone, I'm not actively looking.  I've created a checklist for dating (for me) to determine if a guy is worth my while.  That may seem callous and cold, but life is too short to waste it on dumbasses and I've already done that.  So, here is my list

1. Single:  You would think this is automatic if a guy is dating.  Turns out, not so much.  So, they have to prove to me that they are single.
2. Employed:  I spent 25 years with an unemployed "man."  I'll never do that again.  It's demoralizing for both parties.
3. Age:  My cut off is technically 45, but I'll entertain down to 43 if he is mature enough.  This means high school class of 1989 at the latest.  Younger than that is a booty call.
4. Make same or more money than me: This might make me sound like a gold digger, but honestly, a man that makes less than the woman usually (I said usually) can't handle it.  He feels emasculated and it leads to problems.
5. Genuine:  Seriously, don't play games with me and don't lie to me.  It's that simple.
6. Spiritual:  I didn't think this would be that important, but it is.  I find that it is important to have a faith based relationship.
7. Attentive:  By all means, both parties need to have outside interests, friends, and things to do. I don't need him to be constantly focusing on me, but he has got to pay attention.  By that I mean, know what I'm going through, talk to me about my day and about his day, do little things like flowers, dinner, movies, clean my car, etc. 
8. Local:  Pretty simple-- a long distance relationship just doesn't work.

 So, those are my 8 little rules for dating me.  Any takers?  LOL!

Until next time, much peace and love.

Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

I work in Downtown Los Angeles, and almost every day, I pass film crews for movies, tv, commercials and what not.  It's kind of not a big deal and I tend to ignore it all. 

I also pass homeless on the way in every day and them I cannot ignore.  I try to keep a little money in my car and when I get off the freeway in the morning, I give a little to the homeless guy standing there.  My friends sometimes tease me about it, but I just can't help thinking that could be me if I'm not careful.  And most of the homeless men I see are veterans.  It breaks my heart.  I also recently read a memoir, written by a friend of mine, describing how he grew up on the streets.  I never would have known if I hadn't read his book.  BTW--if you are interested, you can get it at Amazon.  The book is called "Street Child: A Memoir" by Justin Reed Early.  He opened my eyes even more to the plight of women and children on the street.

So, why am  I stuck on this today?  On my way in this morning, I noticed one of the parking lots completely blocked out for the film crew.  There were lots of trailers (more than usual) and they were setting up the food service area.  There were a couple of tents set up and tons of food being set out, tables and chairs for cast and crew.  And on the other side of the fence were the most pitiful looking homeless people.  I mean these are the ones that are at the bottom of the food chain even for homeless.  All I could think was that here was all this food and nothing for them.  I mean, come on.  All that food in front of people who are literally starving?  What kind of fresh hell is that?

Maybe I'm just getting softer in my old age, but it broke my heart to see the extremes of the uber rich and the utterly poor side by side.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Love for our Military

I have a cause near and dear to my heart and that is the Armed Forces of the US.  I have so much love and respect for those that serve, it's hard to contain.  I have a lot of friends and family that have served, but it wasn't until recently that I really understood all they have gone through.  I have a really good friend who was in the Army for 25 years.  He hasn't shared much of the things he saw in war, but he has shared some and has talked to me about his PTSD.  It's frightening really.  We send our young men and women off to war, but then don't give them the support they need when they come home.  Yes, there are resources, but we have this notion that these people are strong and don't need the support that they do.  But think about it.  Think about someone you know who has been in the military.  Was that person much different from you?  Would you be able to see the horrors of war up close and personal and come back unscathed?  Probably not.  So why do we expect our military personnel to do so?

Anyway, I've been trying to figure out a way to get involved either by volunteering or donating and wasn't sure where to start.  And honestly, I'm more about donating than volunteering.   I've read about the Wounded Warrior Project and other resources for former military, but wasn't sure what I could do.  The past few days have been pointing the way to me.  Wounded Warrior Project keeps coming up on commercials on tv, in my Facebook feed, and even in a show I was watching.  You don't have to hit me over the head with it.  I know I need to donate and/or volunteer.  I went to the website and they actually are not taking any more volunteers in my area at this time (but check back later).  So, I plan to start a monthly donation and I'm asking you to think about doing the same (this is not a sales pitch or donation pitch and this is the only time I'll mention it).  Go to WWP to make your donation or to learn more.

The other organization I'm interested in, and there are no volunteer opportunities for me at this time either, is Stop Soldier Suicide.  This one is geared solely toward stopping soldiers and veterans from committing suicide.  The suicide rates among those groups is higher than the general population.  Part of why I started looking into these organizations is because the friend I mentioned above has thought about suicide on many occasions and has even gone so far as to wrap up his personal commitments, preparing for the end more than once.    If you want to donate to this worthy cause or learn more about them, go to SSS.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Eating Right

I was doing a pretty good job of getting healthy and getting in shape, and then my world kind of fell apart.  I started binge eating, stopped exercising, and literally sat around doing nothing, but eating.  I ate the wrong foods and large quantities of them.  I know, I know, everybody has a down time, but I seriously have/had a problem.  I was eating so much that all the weight I had lost is back.  I can't fit into pants that were actually falling off of me the month before.  My blood sugar got so completely out of control that I started getting a rash.  I was miserable.

I got the mindset that everyone else gets to eat what they want, so can I.  I was resentful that I'm not supposed to eat whatever I want.  I can be a happy, fat girl, why not?  But here's the deal.  I wasn't a happy, fat girl.  I was miserable.  And every time I tried to stop, I put roadblocks in my own way.  Seriously?  Who gets two filet o'fish at McDonald's for lunch every day?  Then, when that's not enough, adds chocolate chip cookies?  And even worse, when that's not enough, starts having four of them . . . Eating behind closed doors so no one knows how bad it's become?  Then adds cinnamelts for dessert?  Oh my God . . . This is crazy!

So, February hit and I had to stop.  I wasn’t sure how to stop, because I had been trying or at least thought I was trying and kept coming up short.  Then I remembered that I quit smoking in October.  That was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  But, I did it and I don't crave cigarettes.  So, I applied that same logic to eating.  Just stop eating crap.  Load up on healthy food and when the urge hits, grab something low cal and yummy.  And . . . Drink lots of water.  So far, it's working, but it's actually harder than quitting smoking.  Why?  Because food is so awesome and junk food is cheaper and more easily obtainable than healthy food.  But, I'm doing it.

I did have to find something that mimicked junk food, so I got some Kind bars and some Kashi bars.  OMG they are soooooo good!  I'm also in love with Chobani yogurt, grapes, celery with peanut butter, and tea . . . Lots and lots of tea.  Tea also helped with the quitting smoking, so I went back to that to help with food.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna be ok with this and I'm not craving junk .   So that's good.  I'm just going to keep doing one day at a time.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Valentine's Day aka Singles Awareness Day

I hate Valentine's Day.  It's never been good for me and I've never really had a Valentine.  Well, maybe in in high school, but not a big deal.  So, I really wasn't looking forward to today, especially as it is the first official time of being single on Valentine's Day since I was 21.  Kind of weird.

But, my beautiful son made it all worth while.  He told me the day before he was buying me flowers and a card and he was using his own money.  I thought that was sweet.  Of course, I woke up in the morning and told him not to spend his money on flowers.  I appreciated the thought, but that was a lot of money.  I came home from work tonight and he gave me my card.  It was super sweet and makes all the trials of late worth it.

Until next time, much love and peace.