Hurt Feelings

For all my bluster and bitchiness, I get my feelings hurt very easily.  I care too much and love too hard and easily.  I take what people say at face value, because I say what I mean, so I expect others do too.  I sit here typing this with tears in my eyes . . . no good reason, just hurt feelings today.  And from sources that really shouldn't matter.  But, they do.  And, because my feelings are hurt, I sit here alone and type . . . wearing my heart on my sleeve and wishing I had someone here to tell me it's going to be ok.  Someone to hold me.  Someone to just give a crap.  But, I don't.  So, I'm having my very own pity party.  Tomorrow, I'll be fine, but for tonight, I'm going to let myself cry it out.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Flaws?

I just don't get it. I keep meeting these "great" guys, but they are flawed.  Now, I'm not looking for perfection, but these are big flaws . . . like rips in their moral fabric.  They lie, they cheat, they are only looking for sex, they are possessive (like scary possessive), they present themselves one way and then their true character comes out.  I'm so over this.

And believe me, I'm not trying to jump into any relationships, but I would like to take what they say at face value.  Unfortunately, I can't. If I did, I'd be hurt every time.  I don't put my heart into any of these encounters, thank goodness.  But, it bothers me because I want to see the best in everyone and because I am totally honest and straight forward with them.  They say they are, but the truth always comes out.

I'm not ready to give up . . . I know the right one is out there.  My question is how many frogs to I have to kiss to find my prince?

SMDH and moving on.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Confusing But Enjoying

This whole dating scene is confusing, but I'm enjoying it.

The guy I wrote about last time is still somewhat in the picture, but he doesn't contact me often and makes a point of calling me friend.  Now that's all fine and dandy--and he said friends first, but he's not really making a move to move beyond that.  And that's ok.

There are a couple of others, one I've been out with a couple of times and he's really sweet, and another that we don't ever seem to be able to schedule.  That should be a sign.

Then there is this new one.  DAMN!  He is fantastic and scares the crap out of me because we are clicking quick.  I probably shouldn't even write all of this, but I'm putting it out there.  I like him already.  So--here goes nothing. 

Until next time, much peace and love.

A Gentleman?

I have just had a unique experience. I'm out there dating and meeting new men.  Some have been better than others, but for the most part, they haven't really gone anywhere.  I know I have high expectations, but I refuse to lower them. I did that for too long.  So, there are times when I get extremely disappointed in the male species.

Recently though, I met a man who seems to be pretty awesome.  He seems to be up front and honest and not play games.  There are times that he doesn't pay me enough attention (read--I like attention!), but he is consistent in texting and calling fairly regularly.

He is a manly man--tall, big, strong, owns his own home, clean, organized, works a lot, rides dirt bikes, owns horses, the whole nine yards. I went to his house the first time we met and he came to mine the other night.  We spent a great evening together and I even cooked dinner for him.  Then we watched the Lakers game and he didn't yell and coach--it was fantastic.

So after all this, I didn't hear from him much on the weekend and I was kind of bummed out.  I was thinking I read him wrong and set myself up for disappointment again. So, imagine my surprise when I got home from work yesterday and had a thank you card in my mailbox from him.  I mean, who does that?  An amazing man, that's who. 

So . . . I'm trying to wrap my head around this and accept him at face value.  He's actually making it kind of easy. Now, I just have to get past the cynical instinct, the past that has colored how I see the future, and just be present in the moment.

Until next time, much love and peace.

Living My Life

My divorce was final yesterday. I celebrated by going to the P!nk concert. What a fantastic show!

I'm happy the divorce is done....just a few more loose ends to tie up.

In the meantime, putting myself out there and dating s variety of men. I got burned a couple of times, but since my heart isn't involved, it's all good. We'll call those learning experiences.

Until next time, much love and peace.

Uncle

Seriously? Am I 16 again? I can't believe that people turn a complete 180 in just a couple of days time. This is ridiculous. I give up.

Feeling Special

I may just be a little in love with this guy. He seems to be everything I've ever wanted and needed in a man. I'm trying not to be the giddy girl, but wow...he rocks my world.

Stay tuned....let's see how this plays out.

Until next time, much peace and love.