Uncle

Seriously? Am I 16 again? I can't believe that people turn a complete 180 in just a couple of days time. This is ridiculous. I give up.

Feeling Special

I may just be a little in love with this guy. He seems to be everything I've ever wanted and needed in a man. I'm trying not to be the giddy girl, but wow...he rocks my world.

Stay tuned....let's see how this plays out.

Until next time, much peace and love.

Is He the ONE?

I've been all over the place with this blog, and if anyone is reading it, probably thinks I'm crazy.  But, I've just been trying to find myself and what I've been missing.

My divorce is almost final, and not a minute too soon.  The "new" love interest went in a different direction.  Not a bad thing, just not a love interest.  I would say he's my best male friend and we are able to talk and help each other through trying times.   He's the one that told me to get out there and start dating, and following his advice, I did so.

After meeting a couple of frogs, I think I may have found my Prince . . . if not my King.  He is a wonderful man, smart, funny, good looking, and a great dad.  He amazes me with all he does, and he thinks I'm beautiful.  We are exploring where this relationship will go, but we are both looking forward to knowing each other better and being in each other's lives.  I feel like he has been sent to me from the Creator to be the one, but I don't want to jinx anything.

Until we know more, we'll continue on the journey to becoming a couple. 

Much love and peace.

The Journey of One

They were married for a very long time.  He ignored her and refused to do things with her or for her.  He refused to get a job and help with the household expenses, but he was a “stay at home father.”  The only problem with that is that the child was in daycare when not in school, and she paid for that too.  When he did make some money, he only gave a small portion toward paying bills . . . he preferred to indulge in his vice.  Eventually, she came to realize that she had lost herself somewhere along the way, so she started working on improving her own life and outlook.  He didn’t notice.  He cared only about himself and what he wanted to do, and then complained that there wasn’t enough money.  Essentially, he was saying, you make a good salary and pay all the bills, clean the house, etc., but it’s not enough.  Go make more so I can play.  Then one weekend, she had a fling.  She wasn’t proud of it, but she felt cherished and like a woman again.  He found out and of course, gave her hell.  She agreed to go to marriage counseling with him.  After six months, it just wasn’t working.  He would say one thing at the counseling sessions and do another at home.  And, it kept coming back to her indiscretion with him, although he admitted he had done things that she would not have like, he insisted that he never cheated.  At the end of six months of counseling, she said she wanted a divorce.  She still harbored a great deal of resentment and anger toward him, and didn’t want to end up hating him.  They came up with an agreement to avoid any major issues in the divorce process—essentially, she paid for everything, including for him to move out.  And within four months, moved in with his female “friend” . . . she’s like a sister, he said.  Shortly after he moved out, she discovered that he had been having an affair since the last three months of counseling.  In fact, he would leave the other woman’s bed and go straight to the early morning counseling sessions, where he would act righteous and indignant.  And now, he thinks that she is jealous of all the fun that he has, when, in reality, she is relieved to be on her own and is continuing her journey of self-discovery.  The journey is rough sometimes, but she knows, that in the end, it is her journey and not influenced by the actions or inactions of another.

Tomes, They Are A'changing

My stress levels have gone down a lot.  I made lists of what I need to do and I'm following them. I find that when I'm getting overwhelmed, usually creating lists helps.  What I found this time is that I don't really have a lot I have to do, just a lot that I want to do. Now that it is Lt all jumbled in my head, I'm much better.

Until next time, much love and peace....

Slogging Through my Brain

Here I am, just back from a lovely vacation, and my stress levels are through the roof.  I'm supposed to be totally relaxed, but people are just sending my problems left and right.  It's a busy time at work, and I can't get anything done.  Everything is a priority, which means that nothing is a priority.  Sigh . . ..

Then today, I got a package from the courts that I didn't complete my divorce paperwork correctly, so I have to go in and have someone help me.   One more thing to schedule in my hectic schedule and it has to be done so I can get this shit finalized.

Oh well, I am strong and this blip in the road will not get me down.

Until later, much love and peace.

A New Direction

I haven't posted much lately, because I've been going through a lot of personal changes.

I'm in the middle of a divorce and even though everyone know it, it's been difficult for me to express myself. I wanted the divorce, but I can't help feeling like I've failed. Even though I did everything I could to make it work, it takes two. There are a lot of things I could sit here and blame him for, but ultimately, we both just stopped trying.

It's sad really, because all the things I wanted him to do with me, he is now doing with his new girlfriend. I'm happy for him, but can't help but wonder why he couldn't do these things with me. I guess I broke him in for her, but damn....25 years of hell on my end.

I'm more sad because he has no relationship with his son. He tried to tell the Boy about wanting to date this girl, but what he doesn't realize is that we both saw the nasty messages between him and this girl before we even finally separated. He is just clueless and still tries to say they are just starting out. Mind you...he lives with her too.  Oh well, not my problem.

I do have a "new" love interest and we are taking it one day at a time. He is also going through a separation/divorce and we are trying to work it all out. He lives in another state, so it is difficult at times. I did get to see him recently and when we're together, things are beautiful. He treats me like a queen. Even if it doesn't work out with us, at least I know there are men out there that do treat their women right.

So for now, I'll keep doing me and remembering who me is. I lost myself for a very long time and now I'm remembering what a fun, vibrant person I really am.

Until next time...much love and peace....