Monday, July 8, 2013

A New Direction

I haven't posted much lately, because I've been going through a lot of personal changes.

I'm in the middle of a divorce and even though everyone know it, it's been difficult for me to express myself. I wanted the divorce, but I can't help feeling like I've failed. Even though I did everything I could to make it work, it takes two. There are a lot of things I could sit here and blame him for, but ultimately, we both just stopped trying.

It's sad really, because all the things I wanted him to do with me, he is now doing with his new girlfriend. I'm happy for him, but can't help but wonder why he couldn't do these things with me. I guess I broke him in for her, but damn....25 years of hell on my end.

I'm more sad because he has no relationship with his son. He tried to tell the Boy about wanting to date this girl, but what he doesn't realize is that we both saw the nasty messages between him and this girl before we even finally separated. He is just clueless and still tries to say they are just starting out. Mind you...he lives with her too.  Oh well, not my problem.

I do have a "new" love interest and we are taking it one day at a time. He is also going through a separation/divorce and we are trying to work it all out. He lives in another state, so it is difficult at times. I did get to see him recently and when we're together, things are beautiful. He treats me like a queen. Even if it doesn't work out with us, at least I know there are men out there that do treat their women right.

So for now, I'll keep doing me and remembering who me is. I lost myself for a very long time and now I'm remembering what a fun, vibrant person I really am.

Until next time...much love and peace....

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