Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Journey of One

They were married for a very long time.  He ignored her and refused to do things with her or for her.  He refused to get a job and help with the household expenses, but he was a “stay at home father.”  The only problem with that is that the child was in daycare when not in school, and she paid for that too.  When he did make some money, he only gave a small portion toward paying bills . . . he preferred to indulge in his vice.  Eventually, she came to realize that she had lost herself somewhere along the way, so she started working on improving her own life and outlook.  He didn’t notice.  He cared only about himself and what he wanted to do, and then complained that there wasn’t enough money.  Essentially, he was saying, you make a good salary and pay all the bills, clean the house, etc., but it’s not enough.  Go make more so I can play.  Then one weekend, she had a fling.  She wasn’t proud of it, but she felt cherished and like a woman again.  He found out and of course, gave her hell.  She agreed to go to marriage counseling with him.  After six months, it just wasn’t working.  He would say one thing at the counseling sessions and do another at home.  And, it kept coming back to her indiscretion with him, although he admitted he had done things that she would not have like, he insisted that he never cheated.  At the end of six months of counseling, she said she wanted a divorce.  She still harbored a great deal of resentment and anger toward him, and didn’t want to end up hating him.  They came up with an agreement to avoid any major issues in the divorce process—essentially, she paid for everything, including for him to move out.  And within four months, moved in with his female “friend” . . . she’s like a sister, he said.  Shortly after he moved out, she discovered that he had been having an affair since the last three months of counseling.  In fact, he would leave the other woman’s bed and go straight to the early morning counseling sessions, where he would act righteous and indignant.  And now, he thinks that she is jealous of all the fun that he has, when, in reality, she is relieved to be on her own and is continuing her journey of self-discovery.  The journey is rough sometimes, but she knows, that in the end, it is her journey and not influenced by the actions or inactions of another.

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