Slogging Through my Brain

Here I am, just back from a lovely vacation, and my stress levels are through the roof.  I'm supposed to be totally relaxed, but people are just sending my problems left and right.  It's a busy time at work, and I can't get anything done.  Everything is a priority, which means that nothing is a priority.  Sigh . . ..

Then today, I got a package from the courts that I didn't complete my divorce paperwork correctly, so I have to go in and have someone help me.   One more thing to schedule in my hectic schedule and it has to be done so I can get this shit finalized.

Oh well, I am strong and this blip in the road will not get me down.

Until later, much love and peace.

A New Direction

I haven't posted much lately, because I've been going through a lot of personal changes.

I'm in the middle of a divorce and even though everyone know it, it's been difficult for me to express myself. I wanted the divorce, but I can't help feeling like I've failed. Even though I did everything I could to make it work, it takes two. There are a lot of things I could sit here and blame him for, but ultimately, we both just stopped trying.

It's sad really, because all the things I wanted him to do with me, he is now doing with his new girlfriend. I'm happy for him, but can't help but wonder why he couldn't do these things with me. I guess I broke him in for her, but damn....25 years of hell on my end.

I'm more sad because he has no relationship with his son. He tried to tell the Boy about wanting to date this girl, but what he doesn't realize is that we both saw the nasty messages between him and this girl before we even finally separated. He is just clueless and still tries to say they are just starting out. Mind you...he lives with her too.  Oh well, not my problem.

I do have a "new" love interest and we are taking it one day at a time. He is also going through a separation/divorce and we are trying to work it all out. He lives in another state, so it is difficult at times. I did get to see him recently and when we're together, things are beautiful. He treats me like a queen. Even if it doesn't work out with us, at least I know there are men out there that do treat their women right.

So for now, I'll keep doing me and remembering who me is. I lost myself for a very long time and now I'm remembering what a fun, vibrant person I really am.

Until next time...much love and peace....

Life is Good

I seem to blog more at my joint blog with my Sis at www.sistercasm.blogspot.com; however, I'm trying to get updated here too.

Life is going really good right now.  The pain I've experienced over the last 25 years is subsiding . . . it's still there, but I'm wrapping my head around it and moving on.  I have found someone that treats me right and I truly appreciate it.  There are times when he drives me crazy, like when he doesn't contact me for a couple of days, but I have to remember that he is honest, straight forward, and doesn't play games.  I'm working on that.

I'll have more to say about this whole thing later, but not ready to put it on this blog just yet.

Thanks for listening.

Excitement Mounting

Only 24 hours until my birthday vacation trip and I'm getting more and more excited.  Of course, it's been snowing all day at my destination and there are travel advisories . . . better not impede me getting there.  That's all I have to say. 

Bwahahahaha . . .

Senseless Violence

Once again, a senseless tragedy has occurred with the bombings of the Boston Marathon.  I don't understand the minds of those that perform these acts of terrorism.  Yes--I said terrorism.  Whether foreign or domestic, it is terrorism.

The Boston Marathon was dedicated to Newtown, in memory of those lost in the senseless shootings there.  Now not only the people of Newtown have been exposed to more senseless violence, so have the rest of us.

It's frightening to know that there are people out there that care nothing for human life, have no values, and no code of honor.  This bombing will trigger yet more nonsense from both sides of the gun control issue, and those already on edge will be pushed over the edge.

Our children deserve to grow up in a world where they can feel safe doing their normal, daily routines.  Yet they don't.

My prayer for all is that we can come together and be stronger for all of this, and hopefully stem the tide of violence.

God bless.

Excitement Expanding

I'm getting so excited.  Getting ready for a vacation in Colorado to see some old friends and renew a friendship with someone I haven't seen in 26 years.  The excitement is building and I have butterflies in my stomache, but I know it's going to be great!

Renewed and Improved

I had an epiphany yesterday.  I have been hiding myself from the world.  I realized that I allowed the Ex to keep me down, which I knew to an extent, but didn't realize how deep it really was.  I allowed him to "put me in a corner" and that is unacceptable.  Afterall, "nobody puts Baby in a corner."

I realized all the weight gain, lack of energy, reluctance to go do anything, and crappy clothing choices were because he either made comments or ignored me.  So, I ate more to gain weight and downplayed my looks, subconsciously thinking that if I made myself more invisible, it would justify these actions on his part.

Well, no more of that.  I got rid of all the granny clothes; I'm comfortable in my looks and carriage.  No longer will I be the wallflower I found myself to be in recent years.  That's right, the Bitch is back and I take no prisoners.