Mixed Emotions

I received news that a classmate recently passed away.  It was unexpected and from the time she got sick until she passed was only a week.  I have mixed emotions about this because she was ESD's high school sweetheart and in the summer of 2012, when we went back home, she and he had a thing.  They had been Facebooking and texting for awhile--just friends mind you, but he brought her to his parents house on 4th of July without consulting with me first.  I found out later that there was a little more going on that week with them.

Even though she shouldn't have been messing around with him, truthfully, I didn't want him anyway.  I know firsthand how manipulative he can be and she was craving some attention.  So, her I forgave.  Him?  Not so much.  And now she's dead.  I certainly never would wish ill on anyone (although I don't know why it couldn't be his evil ass instead of her), I'm not shedding any tears over her death.  I had a moment of shock, because we are the same age, but I'm not sad for her.  I feel for her family--her children (all grown) have lost their mom, her sister has lost her sibling.  I sent condolences to the sister.

When I first heard, I actually almost sent ESD a text, because I knew he would be upset.  They had a falling out a few months back for some Facebook bullshit--mainly because he's an asshole and he went off on her.  So, I knew he would be upset because they hadn't cleared the air.  My instinct was to reach out and protect him.  But, I held firm and didn't do that.  Why?  Because he is an asshole, and I'm not responsible for him and not going to be the one to console his dumb ass.  This sounds harsh, but just wait.

I got a text from him later in the day, telling me she had passed and with the details (apparently from the sister).  He had the nerve to say, "After all that stuff with her, I didn't get a chance to fix it. I don't want bad words to be our final interaction . . . You may not believe this, but the past is the past, and in this moment . . . I wish you happiness, peace, and love. No need to reply, I just feel a need to let you know where I'm at."  Are you kidding me? He actually thinks he is being genuine about this, but I've known him for 35 years and know how manipulative he can be.  Actions speak louder than words.  Do you really want to move past everything?  Then give me the money you stole from me.  Oh yeah . . . He isn't genuine about it.

When I sent a copy of the text to my girlfriends, they all laughed.  Not about the death of course, but because he is so full of shit.  The first thought everyone had was . . . He's probably broke.  This says a lot, don't you think?  How sad that I and they cannot even give him one iota of credit for his text, because we all know that he's so full of shit.

Moving on. Glad that I overrode my first instinct to console and was true to me instead.

Until next time, much love and peace.